Computers = People (was: Dragaera and Shakespeare)

Mon Feb 24 11:51:08 PST 2003

On Mon, Feb 24, 2003 at 03:02:05PM -0500, John Klein <zarkon at illrepute.org> wrote:
> On Mon, 24 Feb 2003, Steve Simmons wrote:
> @> My wife has always been fascinating by one of my standard comments when
> @> working on a computer with a problem: "You lieing sack of shit."
> I tend to jolly them along, instead.
> "I know you don't like Word. I don't like it, either. But we both have to
> work with it, so you might as well just play along. Come on, there might
> be a new ethernet card in it for you."
> It's only when they crash for no reason or otherwise prove unendurably 
> obstinate that I pull out the swear words. After all, you've got to show
> the things who's bo!@_49)(($#

No, no, that doesn't work.  You have to be ruthless.  Remember, 
they are used to intimidating countless secretaries.  You have to 
make an impression.

Some of my favored tactics.

1) This is your predecessor.  Note the dents, scratches, and 
shattered circuitry.  Note that all remaining useful parts have 
been removed and placed in other systems -- some of those parts 
are even in your case.  Now... would you like to work properly 
this time?

2) I have a copy of Windows just waiting for a particularly bad 
day.  Don't tempt me.

Matthew Hunter (matthew at infodancer.org)
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