"This is bad.....very bad...."

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Talpianna at aol.com [mailto:Talpianna at aol.com]
> Sent: Saturday, March 13, 2004 3:42 AM
> To: dragaera at dragaera.info; SFandF_Refuge at yahoogroups.com;
> edmeskys at localnet.com; smeskys at localnet.com
> Subject: "This is bad.....very bad...."
>
>   At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later
> discovered to be a
> school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a
> ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
> At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he
> believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement.
> He is being charged
> by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
> "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire
> average solutions
> by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
> absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and
> refer to themselves
> as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
> denominator of
> the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."
> "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3
> sides to every
> triangle," Ashcroft declared.
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
> had wanted
> us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have
> given us more
> fingers and toes."
> "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it
> is intent on
> protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to
> disintegrate us with
> calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on
> every sphere of
> influence," the President said, adding: "Under the
> circumferences, we must
> differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
> President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have
> the potential
> to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before
> seen unless we
> become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of
> vertex."
> Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our once Great Leader would
> have said:
> Read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
> continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse
> tightens around
> their necks."
> I did warn you...
>

I give up.  This one sent me to L'hospital.

W

"Way down upon the Yendi river,
 Far, far away...."