In a message dated 2/7/2005 10:19:26 AM Eastern Standard Time, Crystal.S.Fradette at Hitchcock.ORG (Crystal S. Fradette) writes: My boss sent this out to everyone at work, and I thought you guys might appriciate how funny this crap is. To make it a little on topic, we could be reminded of people being placed under the orb... though I am sure Dragaerans wouldn't be that stupid :o) Enjoy >These are from a book called Disorder in the American >Courts, and are things people actually said in court, >word for word, taken down and now published by court >reporters who had the torment of staying calm while >these exchanges were actually taking place. >_______________________________ >Q: Are you sexually active? >A: No, I just lie there. >__________________________________ >Q: What is your date of birth? >A: July 15th. >Q: What year? >A: Every year. >______________________________________ >Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? >A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. >______________________________________ >Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory >at all? >A: Yes. >Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? >A: I forget. >Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something >that you've forgotten? >_____________________________________ >Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? >A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember >which. >Q: How long has he lived with you? >A: Forty-five years. >_____________________________________ >Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you >when he woke up that morning? >A: He said, "Where am I, Doris ?" >Q: And why did that upset you? >A: My name is Susan. >______________________________________ >Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved >in voodoo or the occult? >A: We both do. >Q: Voodoo? >A: We do. >Q: You do? >A: Yes, voodoo. >______________________________________ >Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies >in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next >morning? >A: Did you actually pass the bar exam? >___________________________________ >Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is >he? >_____________________________________ >Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? >______________________________________ >Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August >8th? >A: Yes. >Q: And what were you doing at that time? >______________________________________ >Q: She had three children, right? >A: Yes. >Q: How many were boys? >A: None. >Q: Were there any girls? >______________________________________ >Q: How was your first marriage terminated? >A: By death. >Q: And by whose death was it terminated? >______________________________________ >Q: Can you describe the individual? >A: He was about medium height and had a beard. >Q: Was this a male or a female? >______________________________________ >Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a >deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? >A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. >______________________________________ >Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on >dead people? >A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. >______________________________________ >Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school >did you go to? >A: Oral. >______________________________________ >Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? >A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. >Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? >A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was >doing an autopsy. >______________________________________ >Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? >______________________________________ > >SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!!!!!! >Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you >check for a pulse? >A: No. >Q: Did you check for blood pressure? >A: No. >Q: Did you check for breathing? >A: No. >Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive >when you began the autopsy? >A: No. >Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? >A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. >Q: But could the patient have still been alive, >nevertheless? >A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive >and practicing law somewhere. > > > > >__________________________________ >Do you Yahoo!? >Yahoo! Mail - Easier than ever with enhanced search. Learn more. >http://info.mail.yahoo.com/mail_250 > > >--- End of forwarded text --- > > >Imagine............what we could do if we were truly patient focused > >577-4368 > >--- End of forwarded text --- > >-Crystal >^..^< > >"Reality is for those who lack imagination." > -Unknown >