>>As for scene playing, lots of people do, lots of people don't, and I would guess that the percentage of people who like acting as part of their sex life in the BDSM community are not that much higher than the percentage who like it in general. How many times have you heard of the French Housmaid or the Naught Nurse referenced (usually as a joke)? It is just about always in reference to a heterosexual, "normal" sexual relationship. How many of your friends would admit to getting off on that? Oh, probably zero. Maybe one. How many of your friends really do that, in their bedroom? You don't know and neither do I. The thing most notable about the BDSM community is how much they _talk_. Endlessly. Part of it probably has to do with how much up front negotiation is necessary. Like polyamoury, they have to set out very clear boundaries in places where "normal" people can assume an understanding.<< It's one of those strange words 'scene' that gets used in the Leather Community/the Lifestyle/the Scene- it's more like 'a negotiated script f behaviors' than a 'scene in a play with costumes and roles'. As you point out it may have roles and costumes - but it may not. Excellent point about the link to polyamoury also. David Rodemaker