Dragaera

OT: Subjectivity vs. Objectivity (was: bois...)

Thu Aug 22 16:42:24 PDT 2002

>From: Randi128 at aol.com
>I have always been that "geeky" kid. I was lucky and I never found myself the 
>victim of taunts or discrimination. It was the exact opposite. My fellow 
>students respected me more, valued and asked for my opinion, and generally 
>liked me for who I was. Yes, I was a varsity athlete, yet I had a 4.0 average 
                              ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That's it.  People are more likely to respect you if you are a good
athelete.  I went to a magnet high school, so about half of the people
were "gifted and talented" or some such.  There was still a strong
pecking order.  Some of the cool kids got really good grades, some
didn't, but if you were an athelete, you got a lot more respect.  Most
of this, I think, comes from the self-confidence that comes from being
atheletic.  I have yet to figure out why this but ever since I started
doing more physical activities, I have seen my confidence grow.  There
is something about doing something hard with my body, be it climing a
mountain, running a race or making a nice pass, that affects me in
ways that purely mental things do not.  I think I would have been on
the end of a lot less abuse in high school if I had just done some
sport.  People are much more likely to give you a hard time if they
think you already have a low self-opinion.

>A name can only hurt you if you let it. 

This is certainly true.  But high school can really suck when a
certain group of people goes out of their way to torment and isolate
you, even if they never call you a name.  I have dealt with some high
school students in a special program (not so much for gifted and
talented, but for people who want to learn, or at least have parents
who want them to learn and whose kids are willing to try).  Every
student in the program played at least one sport, it was a
requirement.  These kids were from an urban high school with a rather
different set of standards then, say, where I went.  You did not get
good grades (if you did, you hid it well).  You would not be called a
nerd, you would be physically attacked. I simply bring this up as an
extreme example of the diversity of school cultures in this country.

brad