Dragaera

Glomppoints and how to assign them (was: Re: two comments on Issola)

Mon Mar 31 19:26:11 PST 2003


Nytemuse was dead on the money when she wrote:

>On Mon, 31 Mar 2003, M J wrote:
>> True.  It was also extremely funny and is still one of My 
Favorite 
>> Things Ever.  Aliera blushing is something that ought to happen 
>> more often.  <glomps Aliera>
>
>OK, this just makes me wonder if anyone's actually sat down and 
made a
>glompability level chart or something...like 
>#1 - Daymar
>#2 - Paarfi
>#3 - Aliera
>(etc)
>
>I mean, is Aliera more glompable than Paarfi?  Is Daymar more 
glompable
>than all of them?  :)

Well, there are a great many factors to put into the Glompy-
Equation.  Let us take Morrolan as our example.

TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME = + 10 Glomppoints
SORT OF STAND-OFFISH = - 3 Glomppoints
THINKS HE HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR = +2 Gp
DOESN'T, REALLY = - 2 Gp
HAS A CREEPY SWORD = - 14 Gp
DOESN'T SEEM TO MIND EASTERNERS, EXACTLY = + 5 Gp

for a total of negative two Glomppoints, which means that Morrolan-
glomping isn't really a good idea.  But then, there are the two 
wild cards of Morrolan-Glompiness, which are the suspicion that 
only Kragar can safely glomp Morrolan (sort of like John Wilkes 
Booth beating Lincoln, if you see what I mean), and the assumption 
that Morrolan, being a high and puissant Dragonlord, might be 
willing to indulge my theory that _noblesse oblige_ requires him to 
allow us to show our awe and reverence at his high birth by 
glomping the tar out of him. 

Daymar's Glompiness Chart would go something like this:

STATE OF BEING DAYMAR = + ONE BILLION Glomppoints
POSSIBLY WOULDN'T NOTICE GLOMPS UNTIL LATER = + 10 Gp
WOULD PROBABLY THINK THAT GLOMPS ARE FASCINATING = +100 Gp 

for a total of ONE DAYMAR-UNIT of Glomppoints.

I'm pretty sure that one would get a base of a thousand Gp just for 
being born a Hawklord.  HOW CUTE ARE THE HAWKS, HONESTLY?  Very 
cute, buster.

SKZB himself has about seventeen thousand Gp, but that's mostly for 
his cool hat.

I leave Aliera's Glompiness Chart to you as an intellectual 
exercise.

>These are important issues!  I mean, what if you ran into Paarfi 
and
>Aliera and Daymar all on a street and you only had time to glomp 
one?

Well... since Daymar is likely to already be glomped by a lot of 
people, you'd probably be better off glomping Paarfi, but since 
you'd scarcely notice the white of his garments through the horde 
of glomplings snuggling him, you'd THEN HAVE TO shove aside Jurabin 
and snuggle Aliera, who wouldn't object unless Morrolan was 
watching.

¬
MJ,
who has another Glompiness Chart for Stannis Baratheon