Glomppoints and how to assign them (was: Re: two comments on Issola)

David Silberstein davids at kithrup.com
Mon Mar 31 18:16:06 PST 2003

On Mon, 31 Mar 2003, M J wrote:

>Nytemuse was dead on the money when she wrote:

>Daymar's Glompiness Chart would go something like this:

What, do you mean just by being called "Daymar"?  So if Jack F. Ugly
changed his name to "Daymar", he'd get the same score?

   Gwendolen:  We live, as I hope you know, Mr Worthing, in an age of
   ideals. The fact is constantly mentioned in the more expensive
   monthly magazines, and has reached the provincial pulpits, I am
   told; and my ideal has always been to love some one of the name of
   Ernest.  There is something in that name that inspires absolute
   confidence.  The moment Algernon first mentioned to me that he had
   a friend called Ernest, I knew I was destined to love you.

   Jack:  You really love me, Gwendolen?

   Gwendolen:  Passionately!

   Jack:  Darling! You don't know how happy you've made me.

   Gwendolen: My own Ernest!

   Jack: But you don't really mean to say that you couldn't love me
   if my name wasn't Ernest?

   Gwendolen:  But your name is Ernest.

   Jack: Yes, I know it is. But supposing it was something else? Do
   you mean to say you couldn't love me then?

   Gwendolen: [Glibly.] Ah! that is clearly a metaphysical
   speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations has very
   little reference at all to the actual facts of real life, as we
   know them.

   Jack:  Personally, darling, to speak quite candidly, I don't much
   care about the name of Ernest... I don't think the name suits me at

   Gwendolen. It suits you perfectly. It is a divine name. It has a
   music of its own. It produces vibrations.

   Jack:  Well, really, Gwendolen, I must say that I think there are
   lots of other much nicer names. I think Jack, for instance, a
   charming name.

   Gwendolen:  Jack?...  No, there is very little music in the name
   Jack, if any at all, indeed. It does not thrill.  It produces
   absolutely no vibrations... I have known several Jacks, and they
   all, without exception, were more than usually plain.  Besides,
   Jack is a notorious domesticity for John!  And I pity any woman who
   is married to a man called John.  She would probably never be
   allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a single moment's
   solitude. The only really safe name is Ernest

   Jack:  Gwendolen, I must get christened at once - I mean we must
   get married at once. There is no time to be lost.

     -- "The Importance of Being Earnest", by Oscar Wilde.

If that's not that you mean, you'll have to explain yourself better,
because I'm baffled.


I think he would most certainly find you fascinating.  Perhaps only
platonically, or psychopathologically, but nevertheless.

>for a total of ONE DAYMAR-UNIT of Glomppoints.
>I'm pretty sure that one would get a base of a thousand Gp just for
>being born a Hawklord.  HOW CUTE ARE THE HAWKS, HONESTLY?  Very cute,

Just because they're called Hawklords?

>SKZB himself has about seventeen thousand Gp, but that's mostly for 
>his cool hat.

Hmm.  I only have a dorky hat, and I rarely wear it.  All for the
best, no doubt.

>>These are important issues!  I mean, what if you ran into Paarfi 
>>and Aliera and Daymar all on a street and you only had time to glomp 
>Well... since Daymar is likely to already be glomped by a lot of 
>people, you'd probably be better off glomping Paarfi, but since 
>you'd scarcely notice the white of his garments through the horde 
>of glomplings snuggling him, you'd THEN HAVE TO shove aside Jurabin 
>and snuggle Aliera, who wouldn't object unless Morrolan was 

Ah, but what if you could distract all the other would-be glompers by
shouting: "Look! A humongous pterodactyl!", and point in the opposite
direction ...