<random collection of headers trimmed> > From: Jeff G. [mailto:Log0n5150 at hotmail.com] > From: "Mark Tiller" <mtiller at ntlworld.com> > > From: John Klein [mailto:zarkon at illrepute.org] > > On Thu, 14 Oct 2004, Mark Tiller wrote: > > > > @> I don't know, we could try. How about a competition for worst > opening > > @> sentence al la "It was a dark and stormy night". Said sentence > limited > > to > > @> no more than...oohhh...two pages? :-) > > @> > > @> Any volunteers to be judges? (there is one logical choice, but I'm > > @> reluctant to ask). > > > > >http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ > > > > I know, I've looked at the site, that's one of the things that inspired > me > > to suggest it. I just thought it would be a bit of fun for the list. > > > > Cheers > > > > Mark > > > > > > (here is a starter for ya. . . . .) > > His Imperial Majesty Roddrick B'laine; son of Edward son of Uther; Lord > Protector of the 17 Realms, Champion of the Weak and Downtrodden stood > upon > the westernmost edge of the unyielding granite tower of Griffindell, his > eyes shimmering like the sun on the waves of the merciless C'ficap Sea; > named for the one man to sail across and return alive, clenched the fist > that had wielded the dread sword Heklor Koch, slayer of countless foes and > enemies; and cast his fell gaze upon the land of Medlir, the land of such > unquenchable evil that it had spawned the fearsome Urck-Argh, killer of > the > North, as well as the terror only known as Darcniss, the most lethal > assassin born, whose unstoppable reign of death had claimed his beloved > wife > Elindara, the half eleven Queen of Tolwais, and mother of his only child > Jarrick, the scion of the Blaine line, less than a fortnight before, > proving > that he could strike in the heart of the Realm, and destroy that which > Roddrick held dearest to his heart, while he was powerless to avenge her > vicious slaying due to the Treaty of Gilneadom that ended the centuries > old > struggle between the two nations, signed on the same night the deadly > killer > struck the mortal blow to his lady love only an arms reach away and > seconds > before Roddricks pen touched the paper, wounding him in the most > dehabilitaing manner, far worse than his own death could have ever done. > > > > ( I actually had to cut it off, it was growing beyond my control. Once you > start a sentence like that it gets a life of its own, I think I could have > let it go on for a page more at least. Plus my boss was looking over my > shoulder wondering what the hell I was doing.) > > Jeff G. I no longer wonder how a full length short story in one sentence would read.