At 10:00 AM 2/16/2005 -0800, Jerry Friedman wrote: >Another complaint I have about her sexuality >is that it's repetitive. Silk ropes, whip, X-acto knife, orgasm. >Many real sadists and masochists have varied fetishes and like to >act out dramas (which one of Phedre's customers does once, if I >remember correctly). You know, most people's sex is repetitive. Most couples fall into a comfortable set of behaviors, and occasionally experiment, but tend to go back to the two or three positions and techniques they like best. Moreover, adventuresome in bed isn't remotely necessary for a good sex life. Some people like stability and predictability. Others, demonstrably, not. Phaedre reacts to pain with sexual pleasure. Endit. The drama and variety come from her partners, for the most part. Given that she is largely a prostitute, she is passive in the decision-making process for the scene and style of love-making. Pretty much, as long as she's hurt, she's happy. She's got a thing about helplessness, too, which tends to go along with being a masochist. If you're tied down, you can't dodge or try to escape, no matter how much you want to in the immediate now. As for fetishists, they tend to have about the most repetitive and boring sex lives imaginable. Oh, a girl done up entirely in corset, garters, and hose may look outre, but if the person is a fetishist, that's pretty much all they want, and they can't get off if their partner isn't wearing whatever it is that gets him off. This does not lead to variety. As for scene playing, lots of people do, lots of people don't, and I would guess that the percentage of people who like acting as part of their sex life in the BDSM community are not that much higher than the percentage who like it in general. How many times have you heard of the French Housmaid or the Naught Nurse referenced (usually as a joke)? It is just about always in reference to a heterosexual, "normal" sexual relationship. How many of your friends would admit to getting off on that? Oh, probably zero. Maybe one. How many of your friends really do that, in their bedroom? You don't know and neither do I. The thing most notable about the BDSM community is how much they _talk_. Endlessly. Part of it probably has to do with how much up front negotiation is necessary. Like polyamoury, they have to set out very clear boundaries in places where "normal" people can assume an understanding. Lydia Nickerson lydy at demesne.com Dulciculi Aliquorum