Dragaera

Whip me, Daddy ... *twitch*

David Rodemaker dar at horusinc.com
Wed Feb 16 17:10:15 PST 2005

Can't... Resist...

In response to many people.

>>With respect, most BDSM enthusiasts are not credible sources of 
information about the psychology of their enthusiasms.<<

With equal respect, without some guidance most people are not credible
sources of information about their own psychology in general - that's why
people to various and sundry trained professionals to help them out with
such matters.

>>There is a significant membership overlap between Usenet sexual abuse
recovery newsgroups and BDSM newsgroups. This overlap is either never
discussed or its interest hotly denied, sometimes to the point of absurdity
-- I recall at least one claim that the poster's abuse had *nothing to do* 
with their BDSM interests, while discussing a 'scene' that closely 
replicated the circumstances of the abuse as described in the recovery 
newsgroup.<<

Internet discussion groups are one of the worst possible examples you could
have pulled for this. The signal-to-noise ratio of people *actually* in the
Scene vs. those who practice 'eBDSM' is generally high - and even then may
or may not be a representative of individuals in the larger Altsex
community.
 
Also keep in mind that 'BDSM' covers three very distinctive groups - B&D,
D/s, and SM. Three different styles of play with often quite different
motivations and results - and also there's a huge range of activity or
intensity within BDSM play. Is it a spanking from your wife or do you a St.
Xavier cross in your bedroom with a single-tail hanging from it? Is this
something occasional to spice up an otherwise vanilla dynamic or are you
talking a 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange - i.e. Master/slave) relationship?

>>Also, speaking of sf, Samuel Delany said in one of his essays that the
causes of S&M are pretty well understood, and many sadists and masochists
had a clear idea of how they got that way.  So somebody's wrong here (but it
could be Delany).<<

In my experience, both as a layperson in the Scene (pardon the pun) and as a
researcher, the cause of 'BDSM identity' is about as well understood as the
causes of polyamorous behavior. The most common 'reason' cited that I've
heard is 'because I've always fantasized about it/I've always been this
way.' There's generally some picture or event that is linked to an early
memory, but it's about at concrete as a LesBiGay individual knowing that
they were not heterosexual.

Alternately - they got spanked or tied up during sex with a more experienced
partner as an adult and discover that they like it - a lot. 

The antecedents are about as clear as mud.

>>On the other hand, I have personal knowledge of several members of this
community who have not been abused, or even severely traumatized, at any
point in their lives. That's not to say that childhood abuse can't be a
source of sadistic or masochistic behavior (it would be foolish to deny
that), simply that I'm not willing to say "all BDSM behavior is based on
childhood trauma", since counterexamples exist.<<

An important thing is to differentiate between pathological sadism or
masochism and the sadistic or masochistic identity. Childhood abuse can be
much more reliably linked to PTSD, Disassociative Identity Disorder, and
Borderline Personality Disorder, among other syndromes - there's little
clinical evidence to a BDSM lifestyle being linked to childhood abuse.

>>"All BDSM behavior is psychological" is even more difficult. If I like a
certain flavor of potato chips, is that because my parents got them one time
for that really great birthday party when I was seven, or because my taste
buds happen to react well to their components? Or is it even a clear-cut
case of either/or?<<

There's some fascinating recent research into the physical basis of pain and
physiological arousal that has some possible application in the question.
There's also a strong history linking pain, eroticism, and mysticism
(bringing this back around to Phaedre...) in both the East and the West - as
well as the use of altered states of consciousness (through the
mortification of the flesh) in prayer and meditation.

David Rodemaker